You probably already know that there are some things you should stop worrying about but I want you to think about it differently.
I deliberately used the words “should stop worrying” but I actually seriously dislike the word “should”.
When a client tells me “I should do x” my alarm bells go off. In fact I sometimes still catch myself using the should word BUT now I know to stop and think about why I use that word rather than saying something like “I will…” or “I want to…”
So with that in mind I want you to notice when you use the word “should” and realise that you have a choice about whether or not you will worry about something. In the short term it is easier to keep worrying about something than to tackle your thoughts. In the long term worrying robs you of happiness!
At this point you will either agree with me OR you will be thinking something along the lines of:
“I can’t help worrying, it’s my personality” or maybe you are thinking…
“stupid woman doesn’t know what she is talking about, I wouldn’t choose to worry!”
ok, so I agree it’s not easy to stop worrying. If you are a worrier you have probably had years of practise. Worrying is probably your default thinking pattern when it comes to certain situations BUT it is possible to train your brain to stop worrying. These are the top 5 things that I consistently see women worrying about that detract from their quality of life
Which of these could you stop worrying about?
1 | What other people think
Choose to believe that what other people think of you is non of your business. Lets face it you don’t really know what is going on in their head. Sometimes we guess what another person thinks of us… sometimes we are wrong. Even if somebody looks us in the eye and says “I think you are stupid” we don’t know why they are saying it but I can tell you without a doubt that only people who are hurting, hurt others. If somebody hurts me instead of worrying about what they are thinking I choose to forgive them
2 | Speaking their mind
If you are worried about saying what you want to say it is probably becasue you don’t want to be judged so this is tied in with number 1. The problem with not speaking up though is you feel frustrated and resentful. Choose to say what you want to say without attachment to the outcome. Instead simply focus on how empowered you will feel that you said what you wanted to say. The more you do it, the easier you will get. Start off by practising what you want to say in the mirror
3 | Not feeling “good enough”
Oh boy, the belief that I’m not good enough is a biggie for women and can be a huge source of self sabotage. It’s one of the main issues I come across when working with clients. It might not even be something you are consciously aware of but it will show up in things like comparing yourself to others. For business owners especially this can be a problem because social media makes it so easy to see what others are doing… BUT social media is biased!!! People share what they want to share so unfollow your competition on social media. Invest that time in reminding yourself about all of your positive assets and achievements instead
4 | Having the perfect relationship
Whether you are single or in a relationship that needs improvement worrying about it gets you nowhere. You can’t change your husband and a single, desperate female is sure to scare a man away! Instead concentrate your thoughts on how YOU as an individual could be happier. When you are happier inside and focusing on the positives in your life that mental attitude will shine out and impact and attract those around you
5 | Getting older
Whatever age you are it is downhill all the way!! At least it’s downhill if you focus on a higher number being a negative. But what if you saw age and wisdom as a positive? What if you are happier at 70 than you ever were at 20 simply because life has taught you some much and society no longer places certain expectations on you?
Consequences Of Worrying
You already know that worrying is bad for your health but I want you to understand that it is also bad for your relationships AND if you have kids and they see you worrying then they will learn that behaviour from you!
It can also be bad for you finances. If you are a business owner worried about what people will think of you then you will procrastinate and time is money! If you want to be promoted at work but are afraid to speak your mind then then job is more likely to go to someone who isn’t afraid to speak up or blow their own trumpet
Wouldn’t it be sad to get to a certain age and realise that everything you worried about simply stole joy from your life. What if you decided here and now to see worry as an indicator that you needed to train your brain to think differently?