Say NO! If It’s Time To Reboot Your Life
Women are constantly talking about not having enough hours in the day.
Well, the 24 hours we have isn’t going to change any time soon so you can live with it or take more responsibility for your precious time by starting to say no.
The pressures of modern day life have led to huge changes in our daily routines, yet we were taught that women “behave” in a certain way by our mothers, grandmothers and teachers who lived in a very different way.
If you look at the environment you live in now with the technology and gadgets you have access to and compare it to all that was available when you were growing up you will see a huge difference.
Yes we have labour saving devices like vacuum cleaners and tumble driers but that does not make up for all of the after school clubs that our kids go to or the additional en-suite bathrooms or conservatories to clean, MOT’s to arrange etc etc. Most of us would not swap our “mod cons” to be a 1950’s housewife but there is no denying that life back then was simpler.
When we are successful in our job or business we reward ourselves with foreign holidays. We make holidays like Christmas a bigger, more costly occasion. Holidays and Christmas can be very stressful to the person who takes on most of the responsibility for organising them though.
That additional pressure is before you look at the work we do outside the home. Nobody can deny that things have changed. Yet we still take our ideas about what a good wife, mother, daughter, sister looks like from those who influenced us 30, 40 or even more years ago!
That has to stop…
The answer is simple say NO!
Say no to self doubt
Say no to believing you can’t change things
Say no to doing everything yourself
Say no to role modelling stress and overwhelm as the norm
Tthe world has changed and, we have to do things differently. Because of that I am on a mission to help women change their faulty thought processes so they wake up to the fact that it’s time to drop the guilt and self-doubt and comparing ourselves to others.
I have a coaching client who works more than 50 hours per week in a stressful job earning double her husband. Her husband does his fair share of childcare, cooking and cleaning but he works 6 days a week and is stressed out and tired just as much as she is. She however feels guilty all of the time because the house doesn’t look as clean and tidy as she believes it “should” be. She didn’t stay at the office as long as some of her male colleagues etc etc.
After a few coaching sessions she was able to look at her life differently and see that some of those plates she was spinning were not adding value to her life or her family’s lives. She learnt to say NO to things that drained her, disempowered her, kept her stuck and overwhelmed so that she had the time and energy to start saying YES to the things that really matter.
She thought it was selfish to say no and put herself first but now she is less stressed, happier and she feels better because she has stopped emotional eating and has time to go to the gym. She also has a better relationship with her husband and kids. When her husband comes home stressed it doesn’t cause an immediate argument about who has had the worst day because she is in a better place. When her kids have a teenage strop she sees it for what it is…. hormones! She no longer sees it as a sign that she is a “bad mum”
Putting ourselves last and being everything to everyone might mean that in the short term we get things done quicker or done “properly” or feel a short lived sense of achievement. But stop and think about the long term cost to us, the knock on effect to our family and what we are teaching the next generation then it is not selfish. Being a happier, healthier, calmer version of you ripples out to every one of your roles in life.