Category Archives for Unleash the REAL you

Feeling Crappy? Learn To Act As If…

If you want to change how you feel simply act as if you feel a certain way.

Start by asking yourself these 5 questions…

Its entirely normal and absolutely ok to have an “off day” but happy, successful and fulfilled people don’t let a bad day spiral out of control into a bad week or worse!

We all have faulty thought processes to some extent but they are simply habits. Happy, successful, fulfilled people have learned to switch to healthier thought patterns.

Next time you are having a bad day you could ask yourself “why me?” or you could start asking yourself better questions like…

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Are you just existing or really living?

Stop just existing start living

I’ve had discovery calls with lots of women lately who tell me they feel like they are just existing instead of living. One woman felt life would be better when she had a close friend to talk to because her existing ones were all self absorbed.Another felt like she needed her husband to be more supportive of her business.Another just needed to lost 2 stone… oh and this time to keep it off!

I know how it feels!  I was just existing for a long time. I would tell myself…

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If it doesn’t feel right you aren’t being authentic

Isn’t it funny how we have pre conceived ideas about certain things or people

It’s half way through the “Say NO in NOvember challenge” and one of the participants kindly recommended the challenge in a Facebook group. One ladies response was…

“…as soon as anyone posts something like this, my mind just switches off and I think “these things don’t work, it’ll just be some over-positive rich woman who’s had one too many red bulls bouncing around the room telling you the only thing holding you back is yourself “

Well she was half right …

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Help, I’ve lost my mojo

My mojo finding strategies are well and truly tested!

I originally posted my strategies for refinding my mojo back in September 2013. I’ll share the 10 things I do again towards the end of this post but first…

Its been one hell of a year and when sharing my strategies for refinding my mojo I had no idea how much I would need them over the last 12 months. Sometimes life throws us a curve ball and we can either be a victim and think “poor me” or we can see it as a test that will make us stronger.

Normally I’m all about sharing my personal struggles because I think it helps others going through the same but the past year I got caught up in something that isn’t my story to tell. Maybe one day but not right now.

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Why Excuses Are More Tempting Than Becks In His Pants

Becks in his pants is pretty tempting and I do not apologise for the gratuitous picture because quite frankly I wanted to get your attention and Becks in his pants always gets my attention so if you’re reading this don’t judge because it got your attention too!

Are you making excuses for not doing the things you need to do to achieve the things in life that you want to achieve?

  • Making excuses is so much easier than doing the stuff that scares us
  • Making excuses keeps us safe
  • Making excuses means we don’t have to have the difficult conversation
  • Making excuses is something we are taught when we see our parents doing it

I make excuses daily!

…I see other people doing it daily too
…I read FB statuses daily of people making excuses.

Well, I’m sick of doing it and I’m sick of hearing people with the potential to make a huge difference make excuses that keep them small but safe!

I make less excuses than I used to but truthfully I will probably always make excuses…

I’m human, humans make excuses… sometimes we call them reasons but nope they are excuses!

…but I will also will ALWAYS strive to improve my personal performance because I have a growth mindset
Not all human beings believe they are making excuses, many truly believe they can’t do anything about their circumstances… about their thoughts… they believe their limiting beliefs are facts that can’t be changed.

They have a fixed mindset

It is always FEAR in some form that is behind the excuses… you might not understand it, but it is.
Fear can show up in lots of shapes and forms, it might be a huge overwhelming almost crippling fear or it may just be a niggling fear disguising itself as a belief that “there aren’t enough hours in the day”
Excuses are ok… but make them consciously

Its ok to be scared and stay where you are but do it consciously… do it with full awareness, make staying exactly where you are a decision. DO NOT BE A VICTIM, do not look back and think “if only…”

If you don’t want to stay where you are, if you want more from your life then you must learn to stop making excuses!!

Most of us are programmed not to do things that scare us but you can learn to upgrade that programming!

Most of us were taught to fit in rather than stand out but you can get comfortable standing out… to make a difference in the world you MUST stand out!

Most of us believe “we aren’t good enough” but you can learn that you are perfectly imperfect!


Do you know what you are worth?

Do you understand your self-worth?

It has nothing to do with checking your bank balance, it is about you as an individual, the person you are in life. We give others respect, love and consideration but how often do we give ourselves those things? How you value yourself is based on the self-esteem you have, your self-esteem shows you how much you truly value yourself. Healthy self-esteem leads to independence, happiness, flexibility and the ability to adapt easily to change. Low self-esteem on the other hand leads only to irrational thoughts, unhappiness, fear of change and a negative outlook on life in general. All of which is then passed on to our children.

How we see ourselves has a lot to do with how others see us, if we are happy, smiling and full of confidence then others see us as someone they want to be around, if we respect ourselves then others will respect us too .Finding and developing your self-worth is all about developing your self-esteem:

 High self-esteem

 Traits linked with a high self-esteem or self-worth are:

  •  You are secure about who you are and have confidence in your abilities
  • You allow yourself to show your true feelings to others
  • You don’t have intimacy problems in relationships
  • You are able to recognize and take pride in yourself for your achievements in life
  • You are easily able to forgive yourself for mistakes and also forgive others


Low self-esteem

 If you have problems with low self-esteem then you will recognize the following traits in yourself:

  • You lack belief in yourself and are very insecure
  • You have problems showing and accepting intimacy in relationships
  • You never let your true feelings show
  • You never recognize and give yourself credit for your accomplishments
  • You have the inability to forgive yourself or others
  • You resist or fear change


Developing your self-worth

 There are plenty of ways to boost your self-esteem and change to a positive and healthy outlook about yourself, here are just some tips for developing self-worth. 

  • Don’t take criticism to heart, instead listen to what the other person is saying and either learn from it or chose to tell yourself that people have different opinions on things and that is OK.
  • Take some time out for yourself everyday, meditate, look inside yourself and appreciate all of your good points.
  • Celebrate and pride yourself on even the smallest achievements that you accomplish.
  • Do something everyday that you enjoy, such as talking a walk in the sunshine, soaking in a bubble bath or reading a chapter of a good book.
  • Talk positively to yourself, repeat affirmations to drown out all of the negative thoughts and feelings.

Do you ever feel like an imposter?

I talk to women day in, day out who tell me they feel like an imposter or that they are worried about how they can match up against other seemingly more confident colleagues or more successful business owners in the same niche as them or even just against other mums at the school gate. What I tell them is…

NEVER compare yourself to someone else.HiRes

  • Don’t compare yourself to a colleague in accounts who always looks cool, calm and collected (maybe she sobs all the way home about how unhappy she is)
  • Don’t compare yourself to a competitor who has a website that looks fabulous (she might not have many clients)
  • Don’t compare how tidy your house is to other peoples (a tidy house is not equal to being a good mum)
  • Don’t compare how many holidays you take to the number that your neighbour takes (maybe they have a mountain of debt)
  • Don’t compare how clean your car is to others in the car park (it might be the first wash the other car has had all year)
  • Don’t compare your child’s ability at reading or how quickly they are potty trained (children are individuals and that is to be celebrated)

Instead of comparing yourself to others work on building your confidence and start taking steps towards those things which are important to you

Stop thinking about not being able to do something or not having the job you want or the number of clients you want. Start thinking that you haven’t got the job yet or you can’t do that thing yet.

As Henry Ford would say… Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right

I have always been a big believer in “acting as if…” some people would refer to this as “fake it ’til you make it” but to me there was nothing fake about it. It is just the first step towards learning to be whatever you want to be or to achieve whatever you want to achieve.

Don’t fake it till you make it. Fake it till you become it – Amy Cuddy

I came across this video lately which is all about faking it until you believe it. It’s 21 minutes of awesome content and you won’t regret watching it!

If you enjoy the video please do 3 very quick things for me:

  1. Once you’ve watched the video come back here and leave a comment below to let me know when you are going to do the Super Woman pose…
  2. If you are a busy working mum who wants to be part of a community of supportive, likeminded working mums come and join this private Facebook group
  3. Use the share buttons at the top or bottom of this post so others start faking it until they believe it!