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Category Archives for Unleash the REAL you

Do You Need More Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and those of others. It may be the skill you need to develop if you need to convert more prospects to customers. Emotional Intelligence includes:

 

  1. Emotional awareness, including the ability to identify your own emotions and those of others
  2. An ability to use emotions for things like problems solving
  3. The ability to regulate your own emotions
  4. Being able to cheer up or calm down another person

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4 Easy Ways to Boost Confidence

It’s very easy to overlook the wonderful things about ourselves when the world is constantly showing us images of perfect families or pictures of celebrities who have been airbrushed. You are in charge of your confidence though, it’s your responsibility to boost your confidence. You can choose to actively work on becoming more confident or you can believe that your lack of confidence is just something that you have to accept.

 

Here are some ways to boost your confidence:

 

1 | Be aware of your successes.

Keep track of your successes. Literally write them down in a journal.  Keep a record of all successes, no matter how big or small they arel.  By writing them down you can look back on them.  This way when self-doubt sneaksup, you can review your successes and reframe your current challenges in a more positive light.  Every time you do something right, make sure you reward yourself. A reward can be anything from a 5 minutes with your feet up and a coffee or as big as a formal celebration depending on the achievement.  Get in the habit of recognizing and rewarding yourself for succeeding in life rather than punishing yourself for coming up short.

 

2 | Be aware of your abilities.

What are your abilities? What are the skills you have gained through training and experience?  Keep an “I’m good at” list as a reminder of what you are capable of on those days when you feel like nothing is going right. One of the exercises in my 30 days to calm, confident and in control programme is the “Why I’m awesome” exercise. We can feel insecure about our self-worth when we give too much attention to our flaws. So change your focus by reminding yourself about all of the different skills and abilities you have.

 

3 | Be aware of your talents.

What are your talents? What comes naturally to you?  Talents, which you are born with, are different to abilities, which are learned.  The next time you feel a lack of confidence, remind yourself of the talents you naturally possess.  Talents don’t come and go; they are with you all of the time.  You have every reason in the world to feel confident knowing that you always have talents that not everyone has.

 

4 | Be aware of the compliments others give you.

Truly listen for the compliments given to you by others.  Compliments show the value that others see in us.  When you hear yourself saying, “I don’t have what it takes”, or “I never do anything right” stop listening to that voice and replace those thoughts by remembering the compliments others have given you. Don’t discount compliments, accept them gratuitously.  Next time you hear your inner critical, voice stop it by consciously reminding yourself about the good things that others say about you.

Why not treat yourself to a pretty new notebook that is small enough to keep in your handbag. Not only can you keep a note of your successes as you think of them but every time you think of a talent or an ability make a note. Also write down all of the compliments you get before you forget about them.  That way if you start lacking confidence or feel a little bit down you can have a read of the things you have written for an instant boost

Feeling Crappy? Learn To Act As If…

If you want to change how you feel simply act as if you feel a certain way.

Start by asking yourself these 5 questions…

Its entirely normal and absolutely ok to have an “off day” but happy, successful and fulfilled people don’t let a bad day spiral out of control into a bad week or worse!

We all have faulty thought processes to some extent but they are simply habits. Happy, successful, fulfilled people have learned to switch to healthier thought patterns.

Next time you are having a bad day you could ask yourself “why me?” or you could start asking yourself better questions like…

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Help, I’ve lost my mojo

My mojo finding strategies are well and truly tested!

I originally posted my strategies for refinding my mojo back in September 2013. I’ll share the 10 things I do again towards the end of this post but first…

Its been one hell of a year and when sharing my strategies for refinding my mojo I had no idea how much I would need them over the last 12 months. Sometimes life throws us a curve ball and we can either be a victim and think “poor me” or we can see it as a test that will make us stronger.

Normally I’m all about sharing my personal struggles because I think it helps others going through the same but the past year I got caught up in something that isn’t my story to tell. Maybe one day but not right now.

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Why Excuses Are More Tempting Than Becks In His Pants

Becks in his pants is pretty tempting and I do not apologise for the gratuitous picture because quite frankly I wanted to get your attention and Becks in his pants always gets my attention so if you’re reading this don’t judge because it got your attention too!

Are you making excuses for not doing the things you need to do to achieve the things in life that you want to achieve?

  • Making excuses is so much easier than doing the stuff that scares us
  • Making excuses keeps us safe
  • Making excuses means we don’t have to have the difficult conversation
  • Making excuses is something we are taught when we see our parents doing it

I make excuses daily!

…I see other people doing it daily too
…I read FB statuses daily of people making excuses.

Well, I’m sick of doing it and I’m sick of hearing people with the potential to make a huge difference make excuses that keep them small but safe!

I make less excuses than I used to but truthfully I will probably always make excuses…

I’m human, humans make excuses… sometimes we call them reasons but nope they are excuses!

…but I will also will ALWAYS strive to improve my personal performance because I have a growth mindset
Not all human beings believe they are making excuses, many truly believe they can’t do anything about their circumstances… about their thoughts… they believe their limiting beliefs are facts that can’t be changed.

They have a fixed mindset

It is always FEAR in some form that is behind the excuses… you might not understand it, but it is.
Fear can show up in lots of shapes and forms, it might be a huge overwhelming almost crippling fear or it may just be a niggling fear disguising itself as a belief that “there aren’t enough hours in the day”
Excuses are ok… but make them consciously

Its ok to be scared and stay where you are but do it consciously… do it with full awareness, make staying exactly where you are a decision. DO NOT BE A VICTIM, do not look back and think “if only…”

If you don’t want to stay where you are, if you want more from your life then you must learn to stop making excuses!!

Most of us are programmed not to do things that scare us but you can learn to upgrade that programming!

Most of us were taught to fit in rather than stand out but you can get comfortable standing out… to make a difference in the world you MUST stand out!

Most of us believe “we aren’t good enough” but you can learn that you are perfectly imperfect!

 

12 Step Worry Test.

When there is something in your mind that you can’t stop worrying about – try applying the 12 step Worry Test.

 


1. Will worrying help the situation? Will it make a positive difference?

2. Will it make things worse in the meantime? Will it negatively affect my health, my relationships, my general state of mind?

3. Can I do anything about this? If Yes – then do it. If No – then why worry?

4. What is the worst that can happen? Can I handle that?

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