In very basic terms coaching is about supporting clients to get from where they are now to where they want to be… in other words to achieve their goal.
Sounds simple doesn’t it… except some people aren’t entirely sure where they want to be… they just know that they don’t want to be where they are now!
Some people just want to be happy with what they have because they discovered that the new car, new partner, bigger house, promotion, more money… whatever it is that they thought would make them happy made no difference whatsoever!
NLP is an approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy created by John Grinder and Richard Bandler in America in the 70’s.
NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming and is basically a methodology to achieve what we want in life
The way we interpret our experiences is derived from the three systems forming the basis for the term N-L-P.
Our neurology is responsible for how the human body functions. We can’t move our body without connections between muscles, nerves and brain.
The human language is how we communicate, however, this includes other conditions such as tone, gestures and expressions influencing the interpretation of this message.
Programming is derived from our mental processes (the neuro part of the word), our language (the linguistic part), and how they are interwoven to affect our behaviour and our physical responses.
Richard Bandler was a 20-year-old psychology student at U.C. Santa Cruz, when he met and became friends with Dr John Grinder, who was in his late 20’s and an associate professor of linguistics at the college.
Bandler became fascinated with the methods used by Virgina Satir, American author, social worker, and internationally esteemed family therapist and co-founder of the Mental Research Institute (MRI) in Palo Alto, California. He also studied the work of Fritz Perls a highly regarded German-born psychiatrist and psychotherapist who developed a form of psychotherapy that he coined gestalt therapy. Influenced by Perls’ work, Bandler started giving workshops and study groups that were centred around gestalt therapy.
Bandler and Grinder started working together with the aim of developing a set of rules and principles that governed the language structure of gestalt therapy. In particular, they wanted to define the techniques and skills that would enable people to overcome their obstacles and issues. Their approach was to use whatever worked; if it didn’t work, they would move on to something else that did work. They analyzed the writings and recordings of Perls and Satir in an attempt to extract the essence of what made these two therapists exceptional in their work.
They were getting outstanding results from modelling the therapy methods of Perls and Satir. Other influences came from Gregory Bateson, Alfred Korzybski and Milton Erickson amongst others
Bandler and Grinder were particularly intrigued by Milton Erickson’s approach and incorporated his manner of conversational hypnosis into the NLP toolkit. Conversational hypnosis was a way of speaking to the unconscious that was “artfully vague” and did away with authoritarian suggestions that Erickson felt were much more likely to be met with resistance from the unconscious. This approach of Erickson’s became a core characteristic of what is now called the “Milton Model,” a hypnotic language style.
As their knowledge and insights developed, the pair tried these techniques out on friends and colleagues, which included Leslie Cameron Bandler, Robert Dilts, Judith DeLozier, and David Gordon. Each of these soon helped expand NLP with their contributions
Many of the NLP techniques that are in use today grew out of the research, ideas and training offered by these people and others who have continued to add to and develop the expanding scope of NLP practice.
Is there something that has been on your To Do list that its time to finally get done?
… even if you would rather stick pins in your eye than do that thing?
Maybe your To Do list is only in your head but there is still that one task that you know would help you make money but even the thought of planning it gives you the heebygeebies.
Yeah I know its scary, I know its easier to faff about on Facebook because that is where your customers hang out but its time to get focused!
C’mon though watching that cute baby goat video during precious “business time” doesn’t help you make money!!
What Is EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique?
EFT stands for “Emotional Freedom Techniques.” This is an extremely effective self-help method known as “tapping” or “meridian tapping” that is used by hundreds of thousands of people all over the world.
Emotional Freedom Techniques are beneficial for releasing negative thoughts, and behaviors which have become stored in our bodies on a cellular level.
Dr. George Goodheart is one of the forefathers of developing tapping methods that are often referred to as “emotional acupuncture.” A well-known American chiropractor, he founded a branch of chiropractic in the USA, based on a specific method of testing the body for information regarding its’ own individual needs.
A person’s emotional well-being is completely interlinked with their overall health and physical state. Our mental health plays a significant role in our healing ability and our physical health.
EFT is an excellent way to overcome emotional barriers that can make you feel “stuck” or in a rut in certain aspects of your life.
The origins of EFT or tapping are said to have been developed in ancient Chinese medicine as acupuncture was being discovered. Acupuncture is a healing method that utilizes energy pathways in the body known as energy meridians. Acupuncture is mainly used to treat physical ailments and not typically psychological issues, such as with EFT.
The practice is based on the same energy meridians that have been utilized in traditional acupuncture; however, no needles are involved. You simply use your fingertips to gently tap on their meridians in order to generate kinetic energy into these particular meridians on mainly the head and the chest area.
While tapping on these points, you think about a certain problem in your life you wish to overcome; possibly an addiction, a chronic pain or a traumatic event. While holding that image in your mind, you can voice positive affirmations while tapping in order to clear the blockage.
The purpose of voicing positive affirmations and tapping on your energy meridians is to restore your body and mind’s balance by short circuiting the emotional blockage from your body’s bioenergy system. Once the blockage is released and balance is attained, it is possible for physical and emotional problems to heal and optimum health to reign.
How and Where to Tap
There are 2 key points to utilizing EFT: the tapping technique and locations, and the positive affirmations. There is a sequence to follow in tapping and once you get the hang of it, usually after only a few minutes, you will be able to do the sequence automatically and focus more on your affirmations.
Accepting and Understanding
Many people are skeptical when they first discover EFT and tapping.
Being aware of the electromagnetic energy that constantly flows through our body and regulates our health has recently been recognized in our Western culture and is gaining popularity.
It is common for people to be initially amused by the methodology of EFT, but once they try tapping and feel the benefits, their amusement often changes to belief.
Are you familiar with EFT affirmation and tapping? If not, why not give it a try!
We all have the same 24 hours in a day, yet some people seem to get way more done than others. Are any of these common productivity killers getting in the way of your personal or business life?
Killer #1: Too much on your plate is one of the top productivity killers. Women often take on tasks even when they already have a full plate. Often this is because we don’t like letting people down are we want things done a particular way, you might believe you can get everything done but…. maybe you need to learn to say no! If you keep spreading yourself too thin, for too long, your quality of work, your health and your sanity will eventually suffer.
Killer #2: Not getting enough sleep can kill your productivity. I’m not telling you to get 10 hours of sleep. Everyone’s body is different. But research says most people need 7 to 8 hours to be fully rested.
Killer #3: Not getting enough exercise can kill your productivity as well. Physical activity keeps your mind healthy as well as your body. Just a simple walk around the block can clear your mind so you are ready to start on a task when you return.
Killer #4: Not enough time for yourself. Not only do you need enough sleep, you need time to yourself. This means taking short breaks throughout the day and regular quality time off to recharge your batteries
Killer #5: Not eating a healthy diet. Junk food, sweets, fats and processed foods all make your body weak, overweight and sick while slowing your immune system. If your immune system is already affected I would suggest a health kick start with a detox
Killer #6: You’re not motivated by what you’re doing. Are you bored with what you are doing? It is hard to get motivated in the morning because you don’t enjoy what the day has to offer? Figure out what you love to do to; being passionate and excited leads to being more productive.
Killer #7: Your personal relationships aren’t in balance. Frustration, fighting, and friction among your family or friends can take a toll on your energy. Find ways to reduce this stress.
Killer #8: Your finances are causing you stress. Financial stress is a big distraction to a lot of people. It takes our mind and time away from doing things we want to be doing.
Killer #9: There’s no one to hold you accountable. If you aren’t held responsible for your actions, you can easily not get things done. Hint, a coach works perfectly in this situation :)
Killer #10: You don’t know what to do next. You don’t know what your next step should be….. again, if this is your problem you need a coach!!
Killer #11: Interruptions are a constant in our fast-paced life. Email, people, phone calls are all interruptions that can affect your productivity. Setting boundaries can make a big difference in eliminating distractions… I know someone who could help you with this too… are you spotting a theme?
Killer #12: You haven’t set clear goals that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely, emotional, and rewarding. (I won’t say it again, you get the picture, right?)
Killer #13: Not planning regularly. Your priorities change and your plan of action should be changing with it.
Not all these things are a problem for everyone. You will have to determine which are affecting your productivity and learn ways to deal with them. You might need to change your eating and sleeping patterns or your financial situation. Whatever is causing you to be less productive can be changed and although you may be able to do it on your own I guarantee that working with the right coach can get you to super productive, super quick!
I do what I do because I love seeing people fulfill their potential but I was fed up of seeing programs and books that claimed to give the steps to success but failed to address the fact that we are all unique, we learn differently, we have different values, different beliefs and want different things from life.
Success isn’t a destination, it isn’t how much you earn, where you go on holiday, what you do for a living. In my opinion you’re not a success just because you’re earning six or seven figures if the stress is actually killing you.
To me success is about feeling fulfilled in every area of life, it’s about making a difference to other people’s lives, it’s about being authentic to yourself. Success looks different for everybody but inside it feels the same.[bullet_block style=”size-16″ small_icon=”65.png” width=”” alignment=”center”]
Feeling like a success inside as well as looking like success on the outside starts with you. And if you think there’s nothing you can do about your situation you’re wrong…
Who said “it’s not that easy?”
You’re right it’s not easy!
Staying trapped and stuck in a rut is much easier, believing you don’t have a choice is easier, thinking “one day…” is much, much easier!
But I guarantee if you make the decision to do the work to find out what true success looks, feels and sounds like to you then you will never look back.
In my next post I’m going to share one of the most important personal development exercises anybody can do. Most people who read the post will not do the exercise. They may think it’s a bit woo woo or they will think they already know the answer or maybe they even truly believe that their life is beyond their control and that I’m talking rubbish.
The other 2% or so will learn something about them self that is one of the biggest keys to feeling fulfilled.
Research shows that among all emotions, the feeling of gratitude contributes most to our peace of mind and to our feelings of fulfillment and that gratitude accounts for absence of stress in human relations above any other emotion.
It’s very easy to focus on the negatives in life or the things we haven’t got; like not being able to afford those shoes, the fact that it has started to rain or an argument with a family member, the list is endless.
BUT you get what you focus on so focus on the many, many positives in life!!
Be grateful for the refreshing, hot shower you had before work, the fact that you remembered your umbrella, be grateful for your family!!
I was introduced to gratitude by my meditation teacher and became part of a “gratitude text group”. One day when I was feeling particularly sorry for myself I got a text message from one of the group saying ”today I’m grateful for the delicious meal that my sister made for me.” It reminded me how supportive my family and friends had been and that I too had a lot to be grateful for. It put a smile on my face and turned my day around.
Developing an attitude of gratitude will help you to retrain your mind to focus on the positive things in life rather than the negative things that cause us to feel stressed.
“He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has” – Epictetus
Start a gratitude journal and each and every day spend just a few minutes thinking about what you are grateful for. For the first week put as many things as possible on the list (at least 30), no matter how small.
From the second week onward commit to writing 10 things each day that you are grateful for. Do this at the same time every morning or night so that it becomes a habit. It might be difficult to think of 10 things a day but often the things that occur to us after the first 4 or 5 things that we write down are the important things that are easy to take for granted.
Don’t judge anything you write down!! Never look at the list and think that’s not big enough, good enough etc or that makes me sound selfish. It’s your list and I’m giving you permission to put anything you want on it, from being grateful that you’re having a good hair day or that you could afford that new handbag to being grateful for a meeting that went well or for the clean water you’re drinking.