Dealing with difficult people can be extremely draining on your mental energy!
And let’s face it, none of us busy working mums can afford to lose any of our energy, be it mental or physical!
So here are some tips on how to deal with a difficult person whether they are your mother in law, a colleague or a friend or anyone else you encounter conflict with for that matter
Avoid ‘hot button’ topics, like religion or politics, or any other issue that could easily explode into conflict. Whenever you sense that a discussion may evolve into an argument, it’s best to change the subject or even leave the room.
You’re not there to try and change the other person. They are who they are. Attempts at change only lead to power struggles, and power struggles are never healthy, and will likely lead to resentful feelings, personal criticism, and heightened defensiveness. People will be even more difficult when they feel threatened. You only have power over you and how you choose to respond to others.
Remember, no one in any conflict situation is totally ‘bad’ while the other person is totally ‘good.’ Everyone is flawed in some way and all relationships need some form of “give and take”. Approach others with compassion, and look past their imperfections.
Even though everyone is flawed, people also possess many positive aspects, and it’s important to recognise these qualities. By acknowledging what’s right about others, they are more likely to see what’s right about you. Feeling appreciated and seen can go a long way to preventing conflict from ever happening.
Know when it’s time to break away from others. Minimise your contact with people who do not appreciate you for who you are; do not recognise their own weaknesses, and continually look down on others. Cut ties with those that are abusive. Sometimes relationships need to be put to rest. So let them go.[box]Are you sick of feeling tired?, Do you want to discover how to create instant energy? – CLICK HERE to gain instant access to my free ebook – 21 Instant Energy Tips for busy professional women [/box]
I love this story about the path to happiness, have you heard it before?
One evening sitting around the fire, the grandson of an old and wise Cherokee chief asked his grandfather, “Why is life so unhappy Grandad?” The wise old chief thought for a moment, and then asked, “Can you hear the wolves that are howling in the distance son?”
“Yes I can Grandad,” replied the boy.
“Have you noticed how some of the wolves are angry and aggressive and some are gentle and friendly?” “Yes I have Grandad,” replied the boy, “I like the baby wolf with the stripes who follows me when I go hunting”
“Well, we have two wolves inside us also,” replied his grandfather.”One leads us to misery and unhappiness. It sows the seeds of anger, envy, jealousy, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, pride and ego. The other leads us to happiness. It sows the seeds of joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith”
The grandson was quiet for a while and then asked: “Which wolf wins Grandad?” The old chief simply replied, “The one you feed.”
– Author Anon
Before starting my business one of the things I loved in my job was the friendships I made. Unfortunately like most people I had to learn how to cope with backstabbers too.
Recently I had lunch with an old colleague of mine who asked my advice on how to cope with backstabbers. She told me about one person in particular who seemed to be out to cause as much trouble as possible for her.
Melanie is fantastic at her job in my opinion, she is well respected and liked by others in her department. However, she can be a bit too honest rather than “corporate”. She is certainly not afraid to speak her mind. Her honesty has made her unpopular with some colleagues who feel threatened by her.