I thought I’d given up shame

I have just been for a run and the universe was definitely sending me signs.

First I ran past a penny on the ground. If you are at all spiritual you will know that this can be viewed as a sign that the universe was sending me abundance. Unfortunately, I rejected it by not picking it up. My thoughts were “what will people think if they see me pick money off the ground?”

1 minute later I ran past a purse that someone had dropped. I feel really bad, but again I didn’t pick it up. I could have got it back to its owner whereas the person who would eventually pick it up might keep it. The universe was giving me the opportunity to return abundance to others. In light of not picking the penny up, I believe the universe was testing me because I like to think I always do the right thing… but this time I didn’t.

5 minutes later I ran past 2 lotto scratch cards. They were face down so I couldn’t see if they had been scratched off or not but again I didn’t pick them up. I had just spent 5 minutes beating myself up and telling myself “next time I’ll pick it up” yet I still didn’t.

I realised that I was sabotaging myself by sending signs to the universe that abundance was not important to me, even though that’s not true. So I decided to work out the reason I was sabotaging myself so that I could upgrade my behaviour.

The first thing that came to mind was that I didn’t want to be judged. Normally I don’t care what others think so there had to be more to it than that. I asked for help in a Facebook group that I’m a member of to unravel my thoughts.

Who are you afraid of judging you?

Someone in the group asked “who are you afraid of judging you and what will they say” That question helped me realise two things:

  • I was afraid of people thinking I was poor. This brought back a memory of money being tight when I was young and having holes in my school socks and hearing people talking behind my back.
  • I was afraid of someone thinking I would steal the money in the purse rather than try to get it back to its owner. That brought back the memory of getting caught taking money from my Mum’s purse

Both memories were filled with shame. the tagline of my website is Be More Brazen. The definition of brazen is bold and without shame yet here I was allowing my abundance to be impacted by shame.

The funny thing is, I felt shame for not doing the right thing and picking the purse up and although shame is never a useful emotion, in this case, it was at least useful. It was a signal to me that I had done the wrong thing whereas shame about what people might or might not think is just plain ridiculous.

Where are you leaving money and opportunities?

The next great question I was asked was “where else are you leaving money and opportunities lying on the path in your life” I immediately thought of 2 examples in the last few weeks that I had let pass by. I dread to think what the total sum of lost opportunities was over the years.

No failure only feedback

If you’ve been following me for a while you will know that I truly believe that there is no failure only feedback so in this case the lessons and reminders I got from this situation were:

  • It doesn’t matter if its true, it matters if it’s useful.  Was the universe really sending me a sign, I don’t know but it’s definitely helpful for me to believe that the universe has my back.
  • I need to continue to work on caring less about what others think.
  • I still feel shame in some situations.
  • It’s essential to get to the root cause of the problem if you want to change your mindset.
  • Ask,ask, ask. If I had not asked for help and allowed myself to be vulnerable in the Facebook group that I mentioned then I would not have been able to get to the root of the problem.

5 Things To Do To Get Anxiety Under Control

We all have times when we lose our mojo. Sometimes it goes further than that though. Here are 5 things you can do to get anxiety under control

According to Mind a mental health crisis is

“when you feel your mental health is at breaking point. For example, you might be experiencing:

I do not claim to be an expert in mental health issues but I’ve certainly experienced them.

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Are You Brave Enough To Make The World A Better Place?

I would like to bet that if you could change the world and make it a better place you would. Sadly if I asked most people if they could change the world, they would say no.

The thing is you can…

We can all change the world

You can change the world for the better just by being the best version of you. It’s not easy though, being the best version of you takes bravery!

You might not think of being your best self as something you need bravery but keep reading, and I’m going to tell you why courage is exactly what it takes.

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How To Start Putting Yourself First

If there were only one thing, I could teach clients it would be the importance of putting yourself first.

It has been an absolutely CRAZY year for me. I’ve had some very severe lows with the illness and then the death of my beloved Step Father. I’ve also had some incredible highs, mainly due to the accomplishments of my two amazing kids. The roller coaster of my life over the last 12 months has meant my business was put very much on the back burner. A couple of years ago the lows would have probably pushed me into anxiety and depression.

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4 Ways Fear Will Destroy Your Happiness

4 fears that will sabotage your happiness

Fear is something you might not think about too often but I guarantee that any problems in your life have some form of fear at their heart.  If you want more happiness in your life or even a particular area of your life then take a 30 minute break to watch this video.

If the first thing you think is that you don’t have 30 minutes to watch a video then no wonder you are unhappy….

Maybe you think happiness is something that will happen “later” when you have all of your ducks in a row…

Maybe you think you aren’t worthy of being happy…

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The Truth About Confidence

The truth about confidenc

I remember reading an article about confidence a few year ago that said “confidence can’t be learned”. The article really annoyed me because I believe anything can be learned!

However I do believe that confidence feels different and shows up differently for everyone. And that means you can’t learn to be confident simply by doing what someone else is doing.

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What If World Peace Starts With Self-Love?

I don’t watch the news. There is so much devastation across the world and I prefer to focus on the kindness that exists. My Mum thinks that’s naive of me… maybe you do too and thats ok, its ok to have a different point of view. I’m confident and comfortable enough not to let other peoples opinions affect how I think about myself… most of the time!

I say most of the time because I’m human and sometimes self-doubt crops up… but I have strategies to deal with the gremlins and get back on track.

So although I don’t watch the news it would be virtually impossible not be aware of the events in Orlando… or in the UK about the recent murder of a politician

And every-time I look at Facebook there is someone highlighting other atrocities that are taking place yet don’t get as much cover due to where they are in the world.

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