Fear of rejection was a challenge for me for a long time but it didn’t really cause any problems until I started my business.
I am passionate about learning so not only had I learned my craft (coaching) but I had studied the marketing and business side of it too. I knew what to do, when to do it and how to do it. The only problem was…
I didn’t do it!
I had lots great reasons why I didn’t do it. I had lots of EXCUSES!
My reasons were things like:
Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and those of others. It may be the skill you need to develop if you need to convert more prospects to customers. Emotional Intelligence includes:
You have probably heard the expression that “happiness is a way of life not a destination” You probably also believe that “happiness is the simple things in life” yet happiness can elude many of us at times.
Whether you’re happy, sad, frustrated, overwhelmed or something else altogether it comes down to your neuroscience. The wiring of our brains is what defines all of our experiences and our behaviours. It makes sense therefore that the best way to understand any aspect of the human experience is to look at what is happening in that thing between our ears.
This is particularly useful if you’re trying to improve your mood and be happier.
So… what is going on inside that brain of yours when you feel truly content and at peace. And more importantly what can you do to feel like that more often? Continue reading
It’s very easy to overlook the wonderful things about ourselves when the world is constantly showing us images of perfect families or pictures of celebrities who have been airbrushed. You are in charge of your confidence though, it’s your responsibility to boost your confidence. You can choose to actively work on becoming more confident or you can believe that your lack of confidence is just something that you have to accept.
Keep track of your successes. Literally write them down in a journal. Keep a record of all successes, no matter how big or small they arel. By writing them down you can look back on them. This way when self-doubt sneaksup, you can review your successes and reframe your current challenges in a more positive light. Every time you do something right, make sure you reward yourself. A reward can be anything from a 5 minutes with your feet up and a coffee or as big as a formal celebration depending on the achievement. Get in the habit of recognizing and rewarding yourself for succeeding in life rather than punishing yourself for coming up short.
What are your abilities? What are the skills you have gained through training and experience? Keep an “I’m good at” list as a reminder of what you are capable of on those days when you feel like nothing is going right. One of the exercises in my 30 days to calm, confident and in control programme is the “Why I’m awesome” exercise. We can feel insecure about our self-worth when we give too much attention to our flaws. So change your focus by reminding yourself about all of the different skills and abilities you have.
What are your talents? What comes naturally to you? Talents, which you are born with, are different to abilities, which are learned. The next time you feel a lack of confidence, remind yourself of the talents you naturally possess. Talents don’t come and go; they are with you all of the time. You have every reason in the world to feel confident knowing that you always have talents that not everyone has.
Truly listen for the compliments given to you by others. Compliments show the value that others see in us. When you hear yourself saying, “I don’t have what it takes”, or “I never do anything right” stop listening to that voice and replace those thoughts by remembering the compliments others have given you. Don’t discount compliments, accept them gratuitously. Next time you hear your inner critical, voice stop it by consciously reminding yourself about the good things that others say about you.
Why not treat yourself to a pretty new notebook that is small enough to keep in your handbag. Not only can you keep a note of your successes as you think of them but every time you think of a talent or an ability make a note. Also write down all of the compliments you get before you forget about them. That way if you start lacking confidence or feel a little bit down you can have a read of the things you have written for an instant boost
If you want to change how you feel simply act as if you feel a certain way.
Start by asking yourself these 5 questions…
Its entirely normal and absolutely ok to have an “off day” but happy, successful and fulfilled people don’t let a bad day spiral out of control into a bad week or worse!
We all have faulty thought processes to some extent but they are simply habits. Happy, successful, fulfilled people have learned to switch to healthier thought patterns.
Next time you are having a bad day you could ask yourself “why me?” or you could start asking yourself better questions like…
I originally posted my strategies for refinding my mojo back in September 2013. I’ll share the 10 things I do again towards the end of this post but first…
Its been one hell of a year and when sharing my strategies for refinding my mojo I had no idea how much I would need them over the last 12 months. Sometimes life throws us a curve ball and we can either be a victim and think “poor me” or we can see it as a test that will make us stronger.
Normally I’m all about sharing my personal struggles because I think it helps others going through the same but the past year I got caught up in something that isn’t my story to tell. Maybe one day but not right now.